THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

"My 12-yr old son came up to me yesterday and asked me about sex. I told him I was busy but that I would talk to him about it later. It's just that he took me by surprise and I didn't know what to say. But, what should I say?"

I'm thinking you should feel pretty good that your kid feels comfortable enough with you to even ask!!! I mean, think about it...did you ask your parents?! I sure as hell didn't. A lot of kids are taught that sex is a "dirty word" and any conversation that has S-E-X in it is "bad." I think you should be grateful that your child gave you this opportunity instead of you having to muster up the courage to do it yourself. Especially since it's obvious you are a giant wuss and this much needed conversation probably never would have taken place.

It's hard to give advice about this subject because everyone is different. But, I guess I can tell ya what I would do. I haven't gone in depth with my son about sex because he is only 10-years old. Don't get me wrong, we have dabbled. But, we have only talked about some of the consequences really, like getting pregnant. For example, one time I made him watch part of Teen Mom because a 16-year old twit was standing there crying with two babies in her arms and I wanted him to see how babies can be an end result, without actually saying how :) Anyway, I intend on telling him that sex is something great that happens when two people are in love. I wish somebody would have told ME that one. Because out of all the people I have slept with (and we will leave it at "plenty") I can count how many of them I loved on one hand. Sad, but true. I also plan on telling him about protection. Where to get it, how to put it on, and how you should NEVER have sex without it. I am even going to go as far as talking about masturbation and orgasms with him. Now listen y'all, I'm not saying I am going to go out and get the kid a porn package, complete with KY and anal beads. I'm just saying that if we don't talk to them about every aspect, someone else will. And, by "someone else" I mean their hoodrat friend whose motto is, "Go for it, man." Anyway, I have been easing into all of this sex business because he is only ten and I don't want him too be freaked out about it. Frankly, I don't even want him to think about it that much. Having sex on the brain every 90 seconds will come with time...I figure I still have a couple of years before that batch of gray hair comes in.

And, that is...WHAT I THINK! HA!