I'M A SAD FACE

"I'm so depressed all the time and I don't know how to break out of it. Any suggestions?"

Weird that you should ask this particular question because I was also just in a funk and I didn't know how to break free. To get out from under it I think it depends on what kind of funk you are in...For funsies let's go over a few...

If you are in an I HATE MY JOB funk:
Next time you are at work stop and think about why you hate it there. If it is a co-worker or the boss, maybe talk to them about your relationship and how to make it better. If he/she is still an asshole to be around, start a nasty rumor about them and sit back to watch the ugliness unfold. If the reason you hate your job is because you don't like the work, then get off your ass and start looking for a new job. Be in charge of your own destiny fool!

If you are in a CAN'T FIND A JOB or the BOREDOM funk:
This was the funk I was just in. I figured it out though! Since I can't find a job to save my life (none that I want anyway) I realized that I was bored. I mean, I have all these skills and creativity being stifled! What is a girl to do? Start a blog yo, that's what. Really though, ya just need to find something you are interested in and start a hobby. You gotta keep your mind stimulated so it doesn't atrophy in these in between stages. The brain can easily turn into mush when all you have to think about is when to water the plants and what episodes of Law and Order are on secretly hoping they aren't ones you have seen already knowing that you will watch them anyway. Welcome to my life...

If you are in a RELATIONSHIP funk: 
If you are single and in this particular funk, put on your sassiest clothes (you too boys), grab up some friends, and go get your groove on. This won't cure the funk per se but you might catch an eye or two and this always makes a person feel good. If you are in a relationship and in this funk you might want to catch my earlier blog "THE GRASS ISN'T ALWAYS GREENER." Man, this is a hard one because a lot of times when you are in a relationship funk it just takes a little adjusting and some time. Or simply (or not so simply) moving on to something new.

If you are in an I'M FAT funk:

Take the fucking twinkie out of your mouth and go for a walk. Nothing to strenuous that your fat ass can't handle, just a walk. Not only will you feel like you got a little exercise but it will help you clear your mind. Get up tomorrow and do the same thing...before you know it you have lost 10 lbs. 

If none of the above relate to your particular funk, I got nothing...except you can go get drunk. Not a way to get unfunkified but it will work for right now.

And that is...WHAT I THINK. HA!