I'M GOOD ENOUGH, I'M SMART ENOUGH, AND DOGGONE IT, PEOPLE LIKE ME

"I have a friend that I love dearly but she is not happy unless she has a guy around. She literally goes a few days in between new guys. I personally can't stand it but it's her life. The sad thing is she has small children and they have to be subjected to this. How can I make her see that this is not healthy for herself or her kids?"

Man, do I feel ya on the kid tip. It is definitely not healthy for children to have men in and out of their lives. Especially if they have grown close to one of them. In my own OPINION (disclaimer) these women are totally insecure and that is why they feel like they can't hang unless there is a penis in the room. The annoying thing is that most of these women are gorgeous, skinny, have a great job, good friends, etc. They pretty much have everything they could possibly need except love for themselves. It's a goddamn shame, really. It's hard for me to help you with this because I am oozing self-esteem. I mean, I AM awesome. Oh man, HAHA and funny. And, I really don't have many friends that are like this because, well, if my skinny, pretty friend walked around saying they were ugly or fat and because of this brought around every Tom, Dick, or Harry, I would HAVE to slap the bitch. It simply couldn't be helped. Honestly that shit would grate my nerves. So, instead of pretending to know what you can DO to help her, I am going to help you understand WHY it might be happening. This behavior can stem from a lot of different things. It can take root in their childhood, for instance. Maybe your friend wasn't overly loved or they were neglected as a child. It can also stem from something that happened later such as an abusive husband (or wife) that took advantage or always put them down. Bottom line is self-esteem is about how much we feel loved or valued and how much we value or love ourselves. People that are insecure or have low self-esteem feel like they are no-good and can never succeed at anything they do. Blah, blah, blah, I am giving a freaking psych lesson here because I want you to understand that your friend probably tends to latch on to any person that shows her the slightest attention or affection because she either has never had it or hasn't had it in awhile. The heartbreaking thing is her kids are there to witness it. Honestly I have absolutely no idea how you can help her. My only advice would be to tell her that she may not think SHE deserves better but her CHILDREN certainly do. If you need more than that I have a couple of Psych books that I didn't burn when I graduated that you can borrow.

And that is...WHAT I THINK! HA!