BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

"My kid is getting to the age where he is more adventurous and not as clingy. He just turned 5-yrs old and he walks up to just about anybody these days and it kind of freaks me out. What is a good age to teach your kids about some of the dangers of this world?"

Well, honestly I am a FREAK when it comes to this kind of stuff. I started on my kid when he could talk and  understand what I was saying about "Stranger Danger." I have studied Criminology for the past six years and worked in the legal field for roughly 18 years so I am probably a little more on the crazy side when it comes to my children and warning them about "real-life" monsters. I've seen and read things that most people only see on television. So, I've probably told my kid things that he doesn't really need to know in an effort to scare him. An example of this, I was watching Criminal Minds the other night and these kids were playing Hide-And-Seek. Now, if you know me you know that this is one of my least favorite games for kids to play and I won't even let my kid play it unless he is inside a house or within a fenced yard (I told y'all I was a FREAK). Anyway, the little girl tells her brother that he "won't ever find her!" So she runs across the damn street (in my head I'm like, "NOOOO what are you doing, dummy?!?!") and hides in her neighbors bushes. Then this guy comes up and says, "Hey little girl, I'm looking for my daughter. Can you come look at this picture to see if you have seen her?" Of course that dumb little girl gets closer aaaaand...he nabs her. I immediately rewound it, paused the show, called for my son, and made him watch just this part. You may think this is morbid, I call it Safety Training 101. Of course, this isn't my son's first rodeo so he went along with it and then said, "Moooooom, I knooooooow already." He Who Shall Never Be Named thought I was being ridiculous. But, I know my son. And, I know that if someone came up and said they had a picture of a dog or cat that was missing he just might be tempted to get in close for a peek. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want him to be scared shitless all the time. I just don't want him to be so naive to think that these things can't happen to him.  Because that is where everyone is WRONG. This shit CAN happen to you. Bad shit doesn't just happen to bad people, it happens to good people every day.

And while I'm on this subject, I freaking hate it when people say, "Oh when I was a kid my mom didn't know where we were half the time and we were fine." Um, yeah, neither did my mom and I am probably lucky to be alive. We also didn't have to wear goddamn seatbelts back then so what does that tell ya?!?! Besides that, we don't live in the same world as 30-40 years ago. And maybe I'm the naive one when I say that. It may just seem this way because nowadays there is more awareness and the baby raping jackholes are actually being reported more than back then.

Regardless, in my world the best way to defend yourself is knowledge so here are some things you can teach your kids because in my opinion its never too early.

• IF APPROACHED, SCREAM AND RUN AWAY - Odds are the peeps trying to kidnap ya are not going to chase down a screaming rugrat.
• NEVER GET CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THEM TO GRAB YOU - If someone asks you for directions or is wondering if you could look at this "picture," first of all tell your kids they shouldn't be talking to strangers and that they should never get close to them. Just ignore them or run away screaming.
• KICK IN THE NUTS - If they do get close enough to grab ya, do not be afraid to fight back no matter what they say. I told my son that even if they have a weapon and say "come with me" I still want him to fight, kick, scream, and try to get away because the reality is that when they get you to where they are trying to take you, the outcome will be worse than what happens on that street. Besides, the likelihood that someone will see you is better if you are making a scene rather than going quietly.
• HAVE A SECRET PASSWORD - My son and I have a secret password so that he knows who he is to go with and who he isn't. For instance, if someone tries to pick him up at school (even someone he knows) but he wasn't told beforehand that this person would be coming to get him, he is to ask them the password. If they don't know it then he is to call me or go find a teacher.
• SECRETS FROM YOU - The sad truth of most sexual abuse is that the victim knows their abuser and more than likely they are family or a friend of the family. Also, another sad truth is that often the victim cares about this abuser. Your children need to feel as though they can come to you no matter what and that some secrets are okay and that some are not and then explain the difference. I told my son that if someone ever told him that he had to keep a secret because they would hurt me or him that he needed to know that I am one badass, Grade A bitch and there was no way they could hurt us so he definitely better tell me.

Actually some of these really cool tips are good for you ladies too :) He Who Shall Never Be Named said he feels sorry for whoever tries to kidnap me. He meant that in a couple of ways I think. First, that I would nag at them until they wanted to take me back to where they nabbed me from. And, secondly, that I would leave a mark...because I'm a fighter yo.

And that is...WHAT I THINK. HA!