THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MR. RIGHT NOW

"Do you think I am ever going to be worthy of the 'right man' or 

should I just chill with being the crazy cat lady??"

I believe the answer to this question varies for different peeps but for the purpose of this blog entry I am going to direct my opinion towards the person that asked me. Honey child, you are so WORTH the "right man!!!" If you would have said that in my presence I would have bitch slapped you...seriously, I would have slapped you so hard your unborn "fuck trophy" would have felt it. With that said, you need to be right with yourself first before you should even begin looking for Mr. Right. You are still so young and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being alone for awhile (I should mention that being alone is my heaven). Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that need for companionship, but what is wrong with just hanging out with Mr. Right Now until you figure yourself out and what you really want in life. Because the worst thing you can do is rush into something and settle. Then years down the road you will have made a life with someone that you just settled on...NO BUENO. All that leads to is a life of complication and resentment. Not to sound like a man-hating feminist but "you no need no steenking man" in order to be happy. Besides you have great friends that love you that would be more than willing to go on dates and then spoon you. 

Furthermore, what exactly is your definition of Mr. Right?! Someone who drives a fancy truck and will call you back once in awhile? You, my friend, are a wonderful person who deserves so much more. You have always settled with these fucking guys that treat you like shit and walk all over you. You need to break out of this vicious cycle, dollface. There are three things that make a good relationship: compatibility, communication, and respect. Along with these things, Mr. Right is someone that patiently loves you unconditionally, will "catch a grenade for you" (sorry, love that Bruno Mars), and is willing to put in the work that it takes to stay happy. There aren't many of them, sad but true. However, I know if you took some time and actually STOPPED caring about this kind of shit Mr. Right will fall right in your lap. I am living proof of this biz. I was done with men when this guy (He Who Shall Never Be Named) would not stop asking me out. I said no over and over and over because I was having some "me" time. I finally broke down and went out with him...and fell in LOVE...and he found ME. Oh, he has his moments where I want to quietly pull a plastic bag over his head while he sleeps but even he will tell you that he is a "good guy." (This is his favorite thing to say about himself) But, even though he is a great guy we still have to put in work to make it last. I mean, I am the biggest brat on the planet and so hard to live with and yet I found someone who loves me and we are actually happy. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone...even for your crazy ass. 

Soooooo, I hope you are hearing me LOUD AND CLEAR...I'm saying figure out yourself and what you want, don't be weird about being alone, and "get in where you fit in HO" with Mr. Right Now...just until Mr. Right finds YOU.

And that is WHAT I THINK...HA!

P.S. "Fuck trophy" is her word for baby, not mine. Please do not send me hate mail :)