THE MUSTACHE

"What do you do when your husband thinks it's a good idea to grow a mustache?" 

There is nothing worse than not being attracted to your mate and if him growing a mustache is going to throw you over the edge, you need to be honest with him.  If the honesty bit doesn't work then cut to the chase and start withholding sex.  Seriously, if you say, "I'm sorry but seeing you with that mustache is killing my sex drive" more than likely his face will be smoother than a babies butt by the next day.  If he does not listen to your pleas or take the extortion seriously then simply start making fun of him.  For example, He Who Shall Never Be Named does not wear the facial hair well because it is bright red (oh yeah, I'm in love with a ginger).  And, he never takes my blackmail seriously because he knows I do it all for the nookie and there is no way I can outlast him.  So when he momentarily loses his mind and wants to grow a beard, I just walk around saying "Ol' Red Beard" like a pirate and he can't stand it...so he shaves it.  Seriously, if your man doesn't shave it off just to bug you and he doesn't care what YOU think, he still definitely cares what OTHER people think therefore if he thinks he looks ridiculous, he will get rid of it.   

If none of the above works for you then my best advice is to fight hair...with hair.  You should tell him that your favorite thing to do ISN'T shaving your legs so you might just stop doing that.  Or, better yet, tell him you are thinking about growing your own 'stache.  Lord knows getting a wax on that upper lip is not the best of times. I guarantee he will rethink growing a mustache when he sees you have a 5:00 shadow and your eyebrows are growing together. 

And that is WHAT I THINK...HA!