My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he's moving into my apartment in June. I feel like this is going to "make it or break it." Any tips on how to make it work since I am completely independent, selfish, enjoy my own "space," and ridiculously organized!?"
Well, you "hit the nail on the head" (ohmygod, I am my mother) because this is the "make it or break it" stage of a relationship. If you can't co-exist in the same dwelling then what is the point? If you weren't thinking about taking this step by now then your relationship was probably doomed from the "get-go." (O.M.G. I am soooooo my mother.) However, I do want to commend you for waiting two years because you have already felt each other out. You should already know by now what he does that irritates the shit out of you, and vice versa. I hate it when peeps move in after they've known someone for a month and then when it doesn't work they cry about it. WAH. Sometimes it works, but more often than not...it doesn't.
The best advice I can give is that it's a game of give and take. And, it's imperative that you choose your battles. If he throws his stinky boy stuff any ol' place and that drives you crazay you have to cut him some slack the first month or two. You have to remember that he is getting used to you, too. I'm not saying you shouldn't ask him to NOT throw his crap everywhere, you absolutely should, because if you don't you will end up holding a grudge. Do keep in mind, however, that there are some things he will NEVER get and you will have to learn to live with it. Otherwise you will just end up nagging him to death and he will resent you. And this es no bueno.
Being independent you will find that you definitely still need your space. Seriously, nobody likes "that girl" or "that guy" anyway. Ya know the one...calling every five seconds, insecure, and distrustful. Nobody likes a Needy Nancy. You just have to try not to lose your own identity. What's worked for me is I have a network of beezies that I can count on anytime, anywhere. If I need "a moment" I can get away and He Who Shall Never Be Named understands. As a matter of fact, I encourage him to do the same.
On the organization tip, I have funny story. And, well, you've made it this far so you might as well keep on going. He Who Shall Never Be Named moved in with me after two years also. I thought I knew everything about this guy. I mean, he started pooping with the door open for crying out loud. We moved in together and I found out the first week that the guy was a mild hoarder with a splash of OCD. You're not going to find 13 cat skeletons and a four month's worth of garbage when he moves outta somewhere. Totally the opposite actually. He is the most organized 29-yr old I've ever met. Yes, I said 29...HOLLAAAA. Anyhoo, his shit has a place...even the crap from 25 years ago that is in a box, covered in cobwebs and a layer of dust, that hasn't been looked inside of for probably 15 years. Yes, even THAT shit has a special place. I'm only telling you this because if Organization = Superman then I am Clark Kent...not quite there until I put on my cape. With his "guidance" I have become Molly Maid around here. HA! I actually pick up after myself now and then. And, every time (EVERY TIME), he says, "Thanks babe, for picking up...(fill in the blank because it could literally be anything)." It's called Positive Reinforcement...you should know this already ;)
I want to end this rant by telling you that we are ALL selfish. Patience, daniel-san, patience.
Good luck, my friend, on the new chapter in your life.
And that is...WHAT I THINK! HA!
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