"I currently don't work but I have two kids that are both young and as you know that is a job in itself. I love being a mom so that is not my problem. My problem is that when my husband gets off work he expects the house to be clean, his laundry to be done, dinner to be ready (or at least near ready), and to basically be waited on hand and foot because he 'makes the bacon.' Whenever I ask him to help me he just laughs as though it is ridiculous. HELP ME BECAUSE I'M IN HELL."
Well, let me tell ya lady that you are not the only one in this position. A lot of women that stay home with their kids are stuck doing ALL the chores around the house and making sure that darling Susie isn't sticking a bobby pin in the electrical outlet and that little Bobby isn't breaking free and running two blocks down the street with a hypodermic needle he found along the way (apparently Bobby lives in a bad neighborhood). Anyway, your husband is not the only man that thinks this is your JOB to do so. Now before I come off as a man-hating feminist I have to state that obviously you should do more stuff around the house since you are there more and he works away from home. However, if you ask him to help you out with something he should be more than willing to take the time to help you. That is what being in a relationship is, give and take. I am not necessarily a stay-at-home mom because, well my twerpy kid is in the 4th grade so he is gone most of the day, however I do get the impression that He Who Shall Never Be Named expects me to do a lot of the chores and he definitely expects me to make his slightly growing ass something to eat every night. Now don't get it twisted, my man is learned...he would NEVER say that he expects me to do it or that it was my JOB. And ultimately this is the reason I do it. Because I want to feel as though I am contributing something to this household and not just because it is expected of me. SO, with that being said, your husband should never act as though you are the maid/cook/nanny and there are a couple of things that you can do to make him see the error of his ways:
1. First thing you should always do is simply talk to the man. Good communication is always key in a strong relationship. Tell him how overwhelmed you are feeling and that you just need his help. Talk to him in his language. For example, tell him that raising two little kids while keeping a home is like trying to drive a stick shift in the pouring rain on HWY 199 at the same time getting a blowjob while eating a double cheeseburger with everything on it...in other words, HECTIC and SLOPPY...and without the happy ending.
2. Go on strike. Stop doing the dishes, stop doing the laundry, let the kids draw on the walls while you watch you favorite daytime television. Make chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for dinner for a week. Oh, and withholding sex is a sure fire way of getting what you want (see older blog entry called THE MUSTACHE). This one always works for me because He Who Shall Never Be Named likes a clean house and definitely likes the na na. Before you know it he is like, "What's wrong, baby? How can we fix this?" MUAHAHAHA Like putty in my hands.
3. Make plans to go out with some peeps and leave the kids at home with him for a change. Make sure you have given them ample amounts of candy and maybe a Rockstar or two. Put the noisiest toys they own within easy reach. Whisper in their cute little ears that there are no rules that night and Daddy loves playing any and every game they can think of, especially "Attack the Daddy," that's his favorite. When you return home make sure you say to him, "Now, can you imagine doing that WHILE cleaning this entire house and making three meals a day?" This should put it into perspective for him.
And, if none of these things work you might want to reevaluate your relationship with Douchey McDouchester. Because unfortunately you will slowly start to resent him, which it sounds like you might already, and this can lead to bigger and badder things down the road (yes, I said "badder"). He might need to be reminded that there are plenty of guys that are willing to help the one they love in order to make their lives easier resulting in a happier home. And, even the dumbest guys know that happier wives have more sex. Duh.
And that is...WHAT I THINK! HA!
I would simply say that once he can do what he expects of her, then all bets are off and she needs to step up. The beauty is he will never be able to. I deal with this in my work life, people who do not do my job looking at me like I a lazy slacker for not getting it all done, my response is that they are welcome to take over and show me how! Have not gotten any takers yet. I have done both, stay at home mom with three, two being twins. Now I am doing the full time work/student thing and let me tell you, the work thing is much easier than the SAHM thing. I do believe one of the only intelligent things to come out of Oprah's mouth( sorry if I offend some O lovers) was that being a stay at home mom is the worlds hardest job. I applaud her for that only because she said it without ever having done it.
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