"I have a friend who has been one of my best friends since I moved here my junior year. We have stayed close friends even when we didn't live close by, and a year and a half ago she moved only a couple of blocks away. Lately we only see each other about once a month, and here is why- while she is a good friend she is a terrible mother... she has two boys, 8 and 2. I had them over for dinner last night as my husband is working out of town (he can't stand them). Within five minutes I was regretting it. Her kids run wild and thrash everything and I find myself telling them don't jump on the couch (yes, with shoes on), sit your butt in the chair (we have HARD tile floors), don't throw that toy, it cost $80, etc. All the while she just looks the other way. She doesn't take things well and I don't know how to tell her that I can't stand her misbehaving children. She mentions often how we don't get together that much anymore and it's not that I don't like her, I just don't like her as a mother."
There is nothing I hate worse than kids that don't listen...especially at my goddamn house. I don't care who the kids belong to, there are rules at MY house. As a matter of fact, I do it to random people's kids that I don't know. I actually crawled into a ball pit at McDonald's when my son was about three-yrs old because a big kid was in there pitching fast balls at my kid's face. His mom was just standing there watching as I knocked on the window and nicely ask her fuckface child to knock it off. He didn't, she wouldn't, and so I DID. You know when he saw me comin' at him that he better stop or he might not ever see the tender age of 7.
However, I wasn't always this way. When my son was younger, I pretty much let him rule the roost. One of the worst things he did was always tell me "NO." Honestly, I was probably just as bad as this friend of yours. But, THANK GOD I have a friend (gotta give a shout out to my girl, Rhiannon) who one day observed my son's behavior and how he shouted, "NO!" at me and she turned and looked at me in disgust and said, "Are you really going to let him talk to you like that?!" I was dumbfounded..."Ummm, I guess not??" From that day on, I asserted my motherly powers and lived to say, "Because I said so."
In your case, however, I don't think you should talk to her about it at first. Especially if she is a sensi-pants and can't take constructive criticism. What I would do is the next time they come over, show those little assholes who's boss! First, put the expensive toys up when they come over. I always tell my son that so-and-so is coming over so if you don't want them playing with your favorite shizz, and possibly smashing it to smithereens, then put it up. Second, it sounds like you do take it upon yourself to let them know what's up by telling them not to do things, but it also sounds like there are no consequences. When they decide that your couch is a bouncy house, tell them ONCE that the couch is for sitting, not for jumping. If they keep doing it tell them that the consequence for not listening is a time-out orrrrr no dessert. That dessert one is kind of a fun one because everyone gets to eat chocolate chip cookies in front of them while they sulk and are reminded of WHY they aren't getting any. Guarantee the next time they are at your house for dinner and they are being little jerks, throw that no-dessert thing out there, I bet they change their tune right quick. My personal favorite is if they don't listen they will have to go home. My house is like Disneyland on crack so none of them ever want to leave therefore it works best for me. If you look to her to comply when they start acting up (and it sounds like they will) and she decides to stand idly by with her head crammed up her ass you have to take the wheel and punish them yourself. Your friend might not like this but it will definitely wake her up. She will be forced to think about her kids' obnoxious conduct and how it is affecting you and your household. This way you don't have to actually have the awkward talk about her brats, you can just SHOW her how it's done.
IMPORTANT: If you say you are going to give them a time out, or take away their dessert, or tell them they have to go home...you MUST follow through. If there is one thing I have learned in all my parenting days it is that consistency is the key. Otherwise these hellions will continue to walk all over you where eventually you will hate them, you will resent her, and a friendship will be ruined. GOOD LUCK!
And that is...WHAT I THINK. HA!
No comments:
Post a Comment