MAMA MIA

“My mom had me when she was 15-yrs old. She has always been more like a sister…competitive, nasty, and MENTAL. I just got married and have a 7-yr old plus a new baby at home and she is acting nasty and jealous. I am of the opinion that she has no place in my life anymore. I don’t want to set my sons up to be let down by her like I was. My husband disagrees. He thinks she is my mother and therefore I have to put up with her shit. So whaddya think?”

I feel ya on the painful mom tip…however I do not have the same problems because I put my mom in her “mom” place. I love her dearly, I mean she’s my mom, but I disagree with your husband. I DON’T have to put up with her shit. It’s funny because she does this same crap to my sister but not to me because I will look at her and say, “No, Mom. This is none of your business.” And then I smile and walk away. It seems to work. You don’t have to agree with her and your family is just that, YOURS. So I agree with you in the way that if she is causing friction within YOUR family structure than spend less time with her. Get ya some distance, girl. With that said, she is still your mom. A lot of times when it feels like she is up your ass, like literally all the way up your ass to her shoes, she is probably thinking her advice is “for your own good.” Ya know, regardless of her being young when she had you, she still nutted up and raised you. You know, you have two children now. I think that sometimes the best way to get an answer to any problem is to put the shoe on the other foot. Put yourself in her situation and see how you would deal with it differently then bring it to her like this…from her perspective. 

I know moms are a pain in the ass but we need to be kind and tolerant of our mothers, they tolerated us. Especially if you think back and realize that your parent(s) wiped your shitty ass when you crapped your pants (every day for yeeears), they did things like help get the gum out of your hair when you fell asleep with it in your big dumb mouth, they (hopefully) made sure you had a roof over your head for most of your life, and they helped shape you into who YOU are because you were too stupid to know any better. That is how I see it. If your parents did any of the things listed above then you owe them. Soooooo…suck it up and deal.